Category Archives: Growing Up Advice

Professional Training

Consultants were hired by my workplace to come in and teach us all how to be more customer service friendly. I took the lead every chance I had to play devil’s advocate and be the difficult voice; making jokes in-between of course.

After the end of the course and the second lesson had concluded, I went up to shake the hands of the 2 male consultants, both in their mid-50’s. The first, from Texas, laughed heartily into my eyes, and said, “Thank you!” The other, from Atlanta, remarked with a large grin, “Thank you! We had a lot of fun with you!”

I guffawed, thanked them both and almost skipped out of the room. The comment pleased me but I had felt poorly about my behavior, which deviated from the group.

Looking back, did I entertain them? Did I pose a challenge? Did it make something monotonous for them more interesting, or were my ideas presented actually meaningful?

I wish I had stuck around to ask, to inquire further, but I had work to do, and I wanted to beat the rain home.

Drinking University: The Key To Keep a Job

I know I’ve been slacking. Alot going on…
I haven’t posted the weekly advice I promised. But I’ll make up for that now. It’s never too late to receive advice.

The key to maintaining a job, whether it’s as a Vice President at Company X or putting together the hamburgers at McDonald’s, is showing up at the time people expect you there. When you arrive at work and you hear, “So-and-so is looking for you,” that’s not a good sign. Yep, just gotta be there, folks. 75% of the battle.

1. Make sure you arrive at work. Get there. Do whatever it takes. Do whatever you physically/mentally/financially need to do the night before/morning of to make sure that you wake up with enough time to get your butt through the door of your workplace so that your face is seen at a time that is normal (for you).

Quotation-Parker-Stevenson-work-time-best-morning-Meetville-Quotes-189694-1

The second, although not as big, is putting on airs, or keeping up appearances. I suck at this, because my facial expressions always give me away, and I can’t lie to save my life, but you can do much better than me.

You need to never discuss your W’s – the what/who/why/when/where of what took place the evening/morning prior. If anyone asks, you cooked dinner and fell asleep early. You have a: cold, bad allergies, your dog died, the beginnings of the flu, a stomach virus, MAKE SOMETHING UP. Or self-medicate. Two excedrin or Advil the night before and if necessary, Tums the next day. Power through.

2. You also need to keep up the charade the rest of the week, so be a bit mindful.

I’d like to dive more into appearances. When you are put together everyday at work, it makes the rough days even that much easier, and you’re less prone to suspicion. When you have nice things, like designer purses and expensive shoes, no one is going to guess that you’re so hungover a small child could get drunk if you gave them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. They’re going to think you’re sick, or maybe you’re pregnant!? I’ve actually had colleagues ask me when they noticed I wasn’t feeling well. I’ve erupted into laughter, and then thrown up in the women’s restroom an hour later from sheer panic.

3. So, look nice, EVERYDAY, and make sure to not be that sloppy, dirty girl/guy at work. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are that person.

The final bit is of course, make sure you get your work done. Pay attention to your email, take your phone with you at all times, and don’t turn it on silent, even if a text message sounds like an earthquake in your brain. Go for a walk around the block if you get sleepy. You’ll live to see another sunrise, and even though you’ll promise yourself you aren’t going to do this again, this will happen again. You’re human and prone to error.

4. Do some work, nothing tedious, nothing in Excel, and anything from higher ups IMMEDIATELY.

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

I know that the article posted on salon.com regarding Kirsten Dunst’s comments about women inviting predators will garner much negative attention, because it isn’t popular to blame women for anything right now.

2014: “Oh, there’s something wrong with the baby? It must be our food supply! Antibiotic-free meat only in this house!”
“Oh, Sally the A+ student was raped by Johnny Be Good while walking around drunk and high wearing a thong and halter top and making out with him all night! Well, he should spend the rest of his life behind bars!”

Shift the history book back 65 years and women were blamed for everything:
“Oh, there’s something wrong with the baby? My wife must have not held him enough! I could see that cold glare!”
“Oh, Sally the A+ student was raped beat up by Johnny Be Good! That’s terrible. But she was asking for trouble staying out late on the wrong side of town and wearing a skirt so short.”

I’m not saying that women should be abused or that our food supply isn’t to blame, but I don’t believe in accidents. I think little Kiki’s quotes were taken out of context. Horrible things, such as forced sex in the movie industry, typically don’t happen by accident. Actresses know that the lunch “meeting” at a private residence with a producer/director/whatever he’s calling himself nowadays means something is going down. A man does not invite a pretty girl to lunch at a house for good conversation, unless the man is your dad, brother, uncle, or close relative.

I like to rethink bad events in my life that I term “happened to me,” because they didn’t happen to me. I was there. I was involved. I wasn’t a vegetable, comatose victim. I was a participant in the bad event. During the time of the event, I felt as if I had no control over the situation, but by being there, I had influence, and sometimes, even acted as the impetus of the terrible situation.

Believing you’re complete innocence in any situation removes culpability/wrongdoing and vindicates you. This provides temporary relief. However, this also eliminates you as a player from the game – it takes away any control you may have had during the event. This leaves you with the feeling that it could not have been prevented, and it could occur again, at any time, and with someone else.

Accepting that you were there, you were present, and you had a role, whether it was positive or negative gives you control into the future. You had an effect on the situation. You have control and you can prevent it from happening again.

Women, as a whole, should recognize how we are perceived by others, the situations that endanger us, and those that place us in a vulnerable role. The world is constantly changing and there is always hope that it will evolve to a better place but for now, this is how it is. Shouldn’t we use it to benefit us, rather than fighting against it?